SAD 2021

I noticed that I have been more negative about myself. 

I was making more cutting comments about myself and how I wasn't good enough. 

I had a very negative self image for a LONG time.

For a long time, I didn't even date because I felt anyone I was attracted to would only date me out of pity or I was the last guy on earth type of scenario. 

Those feelings affected me in just about every aspect of my life and outlook to life. 

I never fully doubted myself as a person, just how good I was for other people. 

I always had that core belief in myself that the Marines built on.

Normally I notice it and am able to make the mental boot strap techniques to bring myself out of it.

For some reason, I wasn't really able to do that this time. 

I kind of noticed I was being negative but I didn't stop myself from doing it.

I talked to Elsolel about it and I think it might have been a combination of a couple of different things.

• Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) or at least some version of it might have something to do with it.
• Covid & all the event cancellations last year which caused a lot of my goals to go unfinished in 2020.
• In the last 2 weeks I have been waiting on my testosterone prescription and have been using 1/3 of what I should be using in order to make it stretch out. 
• Closing of the gyms and bad weather preventing me from working out like I had been has caused me to lose levels in my fitness.

I am hoping that by blogging about it, I can put some of my frustration out there and turn myself around. 

Usually, me acknowledging the issue will allow me to start working on fixing myself.

I know that one thing that will help is me getting my workouts on a regular basis.

I have my goals for this year that aren't tied to events, except for the 100k which I plan on doing at the Eagle Up Ultra. 

I am making progress towards those goals and I am sure that will help too.

For a non fitness thought, I saw these t-shirts advertised and ordered a couple of them. 

I also sent them a note asking if they would do up some of their designs in tech shirts so I could use them for events and running. 

#YIAAGAITIA

#IAmWorthIt

#DFQ

#OneFatGuysJourneyToHealth

#SelfWorth

#WLSSuccess

#IfNotMeThenWho