(RE)Thinking About Goals

As 2018 ends and 2019 heaves into view I have been thinking a LOT about where I have come from and where I can end up going.


I still have days that I struggle.

I still have days that I feel fat and undesireable. 

I still have days that I crave bad food and things that I know aren't good for me or that will cause side affects. 

I still have days that I compare where I am now and what I could do in the Marines and feel inadequate. 

I still have days that I just don't want to do anything, gym or household.

I still have days that I just want to shut down with a book and block out the world.


BUT........

I am closing in on 700 total daily miles for the year but am doing that with a lot of working out. 

I am able to walk a lot of miles in 1 session where I was struggling to walk 8 blocks 5 months ago. 

I am looking for new clothes as the ones I were wearing are all too big. 

I am wearing clothes that I haven't worn in 10+ years. 

I am off meds that I have been on for as long as I can remember. 

I am feeling better about myself and my situation in life.

I am looking at next year and trying to decide what I can actually accomplish versus what I want to accomplish.


Athletic events where I "might" be able to excel or not. 
Since I am still getting better, only 5 months out from surgery, I really don't know where I will be in 6 months.
Will I be running 12 min miles and/or carrying my ruck with no problem and/or still doing 18 min miles but able to do that for hours?
Will I be able to do 20 pushups? Will I be able to do 50 pushups? I can barely do 2 now and those probably aren't good form.

Could I do a GoRuck Light welcome party and then do the ruck.
I am fairly sure I could do the ruck.
It is the physical stuff on top of the ruck that I have my doubts about since the first one I did kicked me so badly.
I have serious doubts about my ability to do it at this point. 
I have 2 vouchers I can use at this point to join events at the last minute so I might do that next year if I feel up to it.
Just now I am not sure what is in my range by then. 

2019 Fitness Goals
1000 Daily Miles (Includes all mileage walking & workouts)
- I will be logging this on Charity Challenge with my team as: 
YIAAGAITIA

500 Fitness Miles (Workouts and events)
- I will be logging this on Charity Challenge with my team as:
BuddyCheck22k

I will create a 2nd account to log my fitness miles separately. 

My events that I have planned for next year.
Those with ?? are ones I am thinking about doing but not sure yet.
Some I am not 100% sure yet of the dates so I am doing best guess based on history.

Buddy Check Jan 2019 20190120

Buddy Check Apr 2019 20190427

?? GoRuck Light Battle Baghdad 20190504

GoRuck Scavenger 20190505

Remember the Fallen Ruck 20190527

?? FANS 20190601 - 20190602
I will be helping my brother make his distance goal on this one and doing more support so I won't sign up for it since it is $250 to do it.

Eagle UP Ultra 20190606 - 20190610

?? GoRuck Red Wings 20190720

Buddy Check Jul 2019 20190721

Chasing Bigfoot 20190728

?? Ragnar Relay 20190816 - 20190817
Looking to get on a team.

GoRuck Star 12 Miler 20190824

AFSP Out of the Darkness 201909??
No 2019 events set up yet so not sure of date but plan on doing the one at Como again.

Warrior 196 201909??

TEAM RWB 20191004
Major anniversary stuff - Don't know what will be going on but this is the Twin Cities Marathon weekend

?? GoRuck Light Mogadishu Mile 20191005
This is the Twin Cities Marathon weekend so might be doing stuff with Team RWB.

?? Team RWB Old Glory Relay 201910??
Really want to be part of this.

Buddy Check Oct 2019 20191020


Photos/Logging/Blogging in 2019 Next year I will only be doing pictures and measurements every other week.
I will check my weight every week but will only do the full set of checks when Elsolel is off that weekend.
I will do the end of year and beginning set up on the 1st of Jan to get my final 2018 numbers and start my 2019 numbers. 
I won't be posting pictures and stuff each time, probably just 1 time a month or when I hit some milestone.
I do plan on trying to do more blogs about training and events. 

I had originally set my goal at 250 pounds.
That would have been me losing 1/3 of my body weight.
That would put me within 10% of my USMC weight when I was running 35-40 miles a week.
Sunday when I weighed in, I was 257.8.
I think I will hit my 250 goal by my 6 month check in.
If I do that, what will I get to?
How far will I go and where will I end up?

My fat free weight is 192 and I am at 25.4% body fat.
I still have more fat to lose and am sure as I keep working out I will work on muscle but that will be tougher with the surgery.
Now to work on the next 6 months as they say where you are about a year out is probably where you will stick to if you keep it up.
Also at some point I will probably look into the skin flap surgery. 



At this point I feel like the poster boy for weight loss surgery and what it can do.

DATE	6/24/2018	7/18/2018	12/23/2018	LOSS SO FAR
Weight	374.9	337.8	257.8	117.1
Around Shoulders	64.25	62	56	8.25
Chest at Armpit	58	55.5	50.5	7.5
Chest at Nipple	60.25	57	49.5	10.75
Chest at Sternum	60.5	55.5	47.25	13.25
Waist	66	62.5	51.5	14.5
Hips	50	48	41.75	8.25
Bicep	22	20	17.5	4.5
Forearm	16	15	13.75	2.25
Wrist	8	8.25	7.75	0.25
Thigh	29	28.5	25.75	3.25
Calf	20.5	19.5	17.5	3
Ankle	11.5	10.5	10.5	1

#DFQ
#IAmWorthIt

Vacation and Final Stretch

11 days left in the year including today.
37 miles to go to get 700.
On the treadmill now.
Plan on doing 5 today.

100th Post

Saw this on FB and it really made me think.

I can't find a true source for this.
If you know where it came from, please let me know. 

For those of you that aren't sure, we are there for you.
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It occurred to Pooh and Piglet that they hadn't heard from Eeyore for several days, so they put on their hats and coats and trotted across the Hundred Acre Wood to Eeyore's stick house. Inside the house was Eeyore.

"Hello Eeyore," said Pooh.

"Hello Pooh. Hello Piglet," said Eeyore, in a Glum Sounding Voice.

"We just thought we'd check in on you," said Piglet, "because we hadn't heard from you, and so we wanted to know if you were okay."

Eeyore was silent for a moment. "Am I okay?" he asked, eventually. "Well, I don't know, to be honest. Are any of us really okay? That's what I ask myself. All I can tell you, Pooh and Piglet, is that right now I feel really rather Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. Which is why I haven't bothered you. Because you wouldn't want to waste your time hanging out with someone who is Sad, and Alone, and Not Much Fun To Be Around At All, would you now."

Pooh looked and Piglet, and Piglet looked at Pooh, and they both sat down, one on either side of Eeyore in his stick house.

Eeyore looked at them in surprise. "What are you doing?"

"We're sitting here with you," said Pooh, "because we are your friends. And true friends don't care if someone is feeling Sad, or Alone, or Not Much Fun To Be Around At All. True friends are there for you anyway. And so here we are."

"Oh," said Eeyore. "Oh." And the three of them sat there in silence, and while Pooh and Piglet said nothing at all; somehow, almost imperceptibly, Eeyore started to feel a very tiny little bit better.

Because Pooh and Piglet were There. No more; no less.

So When Does The Magic Happen??

I have friends on FB that are big time athletes/gym rats/crossfit gym goers and owners.

I see them post a lot about going to the gym and how much they are looking forward to going and what they are doing.

When will I have that magic where I wake up before 5a.m. and feel excited and energetic about going to the gym?

I do feel ok that I went to the gym, but I don't get that rush that people talk about from going to the gym.

What am I doing wrong here?

A Lot Went On

Too long since I posted.
Too much happened and while I probably would have been better if I had blogged, I didn't.
Not sure why.

Lots of walks finished.
Weight lost over 100 pounds so far.
Successful work projects.
Had to put my dog to sleep.
Got my patches back but sales aren't happening, even from those that said IN when I posted.
Signed up for several events next year.
Close to but haven't hit my 700 miles this year.

Still taking care of myself but need to get my good habits back and that might be why I have been feeling off.

This won't be a long post but will have at least the main stuff in it.

Patches are in!!

HELP STOP

VETERAN 

SUICIDE

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BUDDY CHECK

They are very visible from a distance and you can read them from quite a ways away.

Velcro backed and come with a section of velcro to attach to.

$10 friends and family to paypal.me/BuddyCheck22k
Include your address please.

Money after expenses will go to support Operation: 23 To Zero

http://www.op23tozero.com/
https://www.facebook.com/op2320/

MISSION STATEMENT: We provide support to those in need by relieving simple stressors for those who may not see a solution in sight. We work to provide a connection that can save a life, and show that brotherhood never ends. We also fight to raise public awareness of the military suicide rates.

Operation: 23 to Zero is an effort to curb the massive rates of veteran and military suicide through awareness and providing a network of fellow military members to connect with for help and support.
The suicide rate affecting veterans and military members today is unacceptable.
We need to bring awareness to the crisis and effect a change for those touched by this epidemic.
We provide opportunities for people to come together in a comfortable setting and meet other similarly minded individuals through group events, and provide a network to reach out to in times of need and distress.

Numbers:

DATE	6/24/2018	09/30/2018	12/09/2019
Weight	374.9	290.2	268.6
Around Shoulders	64.25	58.5	55.5
Chest at Armpit	58	51.5	50.5
Chest at Nipple	60.25	53.25	51
Chest at Sternum	60.5	50.25	47.25
Waist	66	56.25	52.75
Hips	50	44.75	42
Bicep	22	18.25	17.5
Forearm	16	14	14
Wrist	8	7.75	7.75
Thigh	29	27	26.25
Calf	20.5	18.25	17.25
Ankle	11.5	10	10.75

Pictures:

#DFQ
#IAmWorthIt

Weird Space

So I have been in a weird mental space the last couple weeks.
Just haven't had the motivation to blog at all.
Don't know why but that is the case.

I have been able to do some 5k events and even do more walking in the morning.
My morning walks have been over a mile and have included going to the gym.
When I couldn't do the gym, I have been trying to do some workout stuff at home.
Not enough tho.
I know I need to do more.

I normally like when fall comes around and it gets cooler.
This year it seems like the cold has been affecting me more.
Definitely need to look into more cooler weather type gear for walking.

So it has kind of become a tradition to give blood on Memorial weekend.
Since I can donate double reds, I do that but it means I can only donate 3 times a year.
This year, I was able to take a day from work and donate.
This means I have to donate the last 2 weeks in Jan and then I can donate again Memorial weekend.

Been dealing with some odd physical stuff.
Lots of gas and stomach cramps.
Since I had been adding more food stuff to eating, I suspect I added something that affected me.
So going back to basics today until they ease off.
Then I will add some stuff back in little by little to see what it might have been.
I had tried ice cream, refried beans, corn, banquet chix nuggets, and not sure what else.

3 month follow up scheduled for Oct 16/17.
Not sure if I will be down to 275 by then but it would be awesome to be 274.9 or less so I can be down 100 pounds. That would also put me about 25 from my goal.
Of course, with me losing core mass, I might go lower but we will see.


Multiple events scheduled in the next month.
On Oct 13 I will be helping and doing the Nearly Naked Ruck March in St Cloud.
I am on the organizing committee but plan on walking at least part of it.

On Oct 21 I will be doing my Buddy Check 22k at Cleary Park in Prior Lake.
I have been doing this for nearly 2 years and plan on keeping it going.

On Oct 27th I will be doing the Nearly Naked Ruck March at Bunker Hills in Andover.
This is a longer route so not sure how much I will walk.
I might start part way around and go in reverse and take pictures of ruckers.
We will have a regular photographer but I like to do photography myself.
A lot will depend on on how busy it is and how much I need to help with other stuff.

On Nov 3rd I will be doing the 3 Legion Ruck from Fairbault to Morristown.
I did it a couple times and last year I had to just do photos since my knee was still recovering from surgery and I wasn't ready to walk that far.

All of these are going to require me to have my cold weather stuff figured out.
I do know layers are going to be key.
Part of the stuff I had from before probably won't fit anymore so shopping time it is.

Also will probably have to get new shoes.
The shoes I used last year have hundreds of miles on them and at the weight I was when I was using them has broken them down pretty good.
I think I might just go with some I have been using until I gained weight and couldn't wear them.
They fit now better and are fairly comfortable.


Next year, I want to do another GoRuck.
I want to beat it, not survive it.
I am thinking of doing the Light/Scavenger combo in May.
The GORUCK Light Challenge - St. Paul, MN (Battle of Baghdad) is May 4th.
The Goruck Scavenger - Cinco De Mayo - St. Paul, MN is May 5th and I think it would be a blast to do.
There is a tough that weekend but I don't know if I want to jump that deep into an event yet.
Who knows, maybe I can shadow it.

Also thinking I might do some of the other things that either I couldn't do before due to my wieght or that I tried before and didn't do well at like the Tough Mudder I did several years ago.
While I finished that event, I took 2 hours to do it.
I want to beat that.


I need to get better about making meals.
I am still doing my cooking too big and then not making it thru all the food and not eating the left overs.
I had to throw out a bunch this morning for garbage day.
I really need to think thru what I am cooking for portions so that either I finish them that meal or I only have 1 left over meal and can get to that.
I don't like eating left overs too many times.

I also need to make sure I am doing meals and snacks on a more regular basis for time.
I have been getting lazy about that and turning more into grazing.

I need to think about flavors.
I need to think about buying or getting higher quality items.
Since I am eating so small for portions, at 1 pound buffalo steak, is 3-4 meals depending on what I do with it.
I want to check out recipes where it is mostly paleo/keto protein heavy and work on those with a lot of flavor.

A co-worker is going thru a cooking class.
I might look into that, depending on how it is structured.
I might be able to learn new things and learn more about spicing/flavoring thru that.
Unless I know someone that is a chef that is willing to work with me.


Numbers:

DATE	6/24/2018	09/09/2018	09/30/2018
Weight	374.9	299.6	290.2
Around Shoulders	64.25	60	58.5
Chest at Armpit	58	53	51.5
Chest at Nipple	60.25	54.5	53.25
Chest at Sternum	60.5	52	50.25
Waist	66	58.75	56.25
Hips	50	45.25	44.75
Bicep	22	18.25	18.25
Forearm	16	14	14
Wrist	8	7.75	7.75
Thigh	29	27.75	27
Calf	20.5	18.5	18.25
Ankle	11.5	11	10

Serious changes in the 3 months since I started this journey.
Only when you put them from beginning to now do they really show how far I have come, especially since they have slowed down.

Pictures:

I am still noticing that core mass is going down.
That will be alleviated by working out and getting fit.

#DFQ
#IAmWorthIt