1 Year Makes So Much Difference

Last year I did the 3 Legion Ruck.
I had been training but I still had serious issues
I had to take short catch up rides and really struggled.
I basically gave up working out after this event until I started going again in April this year.

This year I was still slower than the majority of the group but I was able to basically finish.
I had to take a shuttle for last .4 miles due to being pulled by medic when my numbers started going low.
I had an orange and felt I could continue but the medic decided I should just take the shuttle to the end and rest there.
I literally was the last one on the course at this point by the time we were done checking numbers.
I wish I could have finished but there was a timing issue with the other group that I needed to be there by a certain time and I might not have made it in time.

Part of my delay was also being interviewed by the newspaper.
They asked some questions and got some pictures.
I am hoping I make it in because that would be really cool.
Here is a video they released about the event.
I am in it, as such, but only my back but you can recognize me by my pack.

I was asked multiple times about the chain I had on the back of my pack.

I felt the chain helped represent the chains that veterans with PTSD suffer from.
I am going to leave it on there for now as a way to get a conversation opener.

The pack worked a LOT better with the changes I made.
Still need a little bit of tweaking but overall it is much easier to wear and carry stuff.
And I realized with the changes I did, I can wear it over a coat or heavy gear if needed.

Today, I am a little sore, especially my calves, but I am NOT feeling crippled like I was after events earlier this year.
I got to talk to someone during the walk and I was very pleased to realize he read my blog because I respect him a lot.
He made a comment that he appreciated the end of my last blog, the part where I said I wasn't fat, I have fat but I am not defined as fat.
We talked about my journey to health and how I felt.
I am stronger, fitter, better healthy test results, able to do more, and recover faster.
I still have more to go but as long as I continue my journey I will succeed.

I decided I am going to do the Blitzen's Revenge event.
This is going to be harder than the GoRuck Light I did in July but not as hard as a GoRuck Tough.
Don't have normal winter boots but I am going to wear my Catskills mocs.
Heavy buffalo hide, I can mink oil them, wear wool socks, and should be good to go.
Will get some Yak Traks or something like that if I need more traction.
Need to make some wool pants for this.
Think I will get the viking pattern style and do those since I would use them for Viking events.

My 2017 is filling up with physical events.
I have a couple of cons but I plan on doing a lot more active events.

2017 Event Planning

Buddy Check 22K Jan 2017 20170122
Buddy Check 22K Apr 2017 20170422
Memorial Ruck 20170529
23 Hour To Stop Suicide 20170603  DATE????
24 Hour Eagle Up Ultra 20170624
GoRuck Light 20170701
Buddy Check 22K Jul 2017 20170722
Carry the Fallen Ruck 20170918
Buddy Check 22K Oct 2017 20170822



Reminder From The Past

I wrote about this 5 years ago.

Nov 09, 2011 9:32am
I have seen posts about whether you feed your evil or good wolf inside
Thinking today at the gym, while the Cybex Arc Trainer was kicking my ass, I realized that there is another pair of creatures inside me
They are nameless for me
The first is made of darkness/shame/fear/doubt/self hate/limits/sadness
The second is made of light/pride/confidence/no limits/love/happiness
Each decision feeds one, whether large like buying a house or marriage, or small like pushing your plate away when you are full but it isn't empty or taking your meds every day when you should
Each day I need to make the decisions that feed the second one
I need to acknowledge that I am making them
Getting up when I am tired and going to the gym
Using a smaller plate for food to help me control portions
Preparing meals ahead of time so I don't have to scramble and eat badly
Keeping the house clean
Choosing to chew a piece of gum instead of grabbing a piece of candy
Taking my meds and monitoring myself regularly
I have been watching Biggest Loser
Something that has clicked for me
I have decided each day will start with an affirmation
Yes, I will make good choices
Yes, I will forgive myself if I make a bad choice
Yes, I will be mindful and make choices and decisions not be mindless
Yes, I am as good as I think I am
Yes, I deserve good things
Yes, I am worth it

I have changed since then but this was a great reminder and I am going to change it to bring it current.

I have seen pictures about how everyone has 2 wolves inside them, good and evil, and depending on which you feed it will make one stronger and one weaker.

I also have 2 other forms inside me.
I don't have names or even visual forms for them.
The first is made of light/pride/confidence/no limits/love/happiness.
The second is made of darkness/shame/fear/doubt/self hate/limits/sadness.

Each day I need to make the decisions to feed the first one.
Each day I need to acknowledge those decisions.
Each day I need to decide to go to the gym or be active in some way.
Each day I need to decide to plan my meals and eat the right things.
Each day I need to decide to keep working on the house to make it what I want.
Each day I need to decide to take my meds and monitor myself on a regular basis.
Each day I need to decide to keep doing events to challenge myself.
Each day I need to decide to keep supporting the causes that mean a lot to me.

I have changed the affirmation I am going to start each day out with.
I am going to find a way to get it printed and put up on my wall.

I will make choices.
I will live my life without regrets.
I will be mindful and stay in the present.
I will forgive myself if I make a mistake.
I will remember I deserve the good things in my life.
I will remember that Yes, I Am As Good As I Think I Am.
I will remember I am worthy.



Changes and Random Thoughts


So you might have noticed I changed out my logo.
I decided I wanted to add stuff to it and also decided that NO OBSTACLE wasn't really what I wanted to say.

NO EXCUSES - means I won't use stupid, inaccurate, lying, cheating EXCUSES to not do something.
I might have a valid reason to not finish a race for example, like blisters I can't walk on or medical, but I won't accept any excuses.

NO QUITTING - means I won't just quit. I will go until I am stopped but I won't give up without giving it everything I have.
So far I am not doing any events where they can drop me for cause so it is my choice to keep going.

NO REGRETS - means I don't want to be thining 10 years from now, I wish I had done that race or event.
I have heard it said, you have more regrets from NOT doing something than you ever have from doing something you know is right.

So, I have been making changes to my pack to make it fit me better.
I am a big guy and when the pack is only 12" wide, it means that the straps have to wrap around me quite a bit.
I attached a "battle belt" to the back of the pack with rings and then built straps to connect to the front of the "battle belt".
The front of it is still near my side but that is much better for me for comfort.
I can walk for a while now without losing the feeling in my hands.
My next event will be the 3 Legion Ruck on Nov 12.
An interesting write up about the event.

A new event got created that sounds a lot like a GoRuck.
It is scheduled for Dec 17, called Blitzen's Revenge.
Veterans can do it for free and others can do it for $40.
It will be in support of Strong Compass and Operation: 23 to Zero.
10 mile ruck with exercises.
It is a TEAM event so as long as you #DFQ, they will help get you thru it.
I need better winter gear for it if I am going to do it tho.

I finished my next virtual race with Yes.Fit.
Route 66 is done, a 66 mile run.
My next one is Pacific Coast Highway, 113 mile event.

So I was thinking while walking that I could do better if I wasn't fat.
Then I thought about it more.

I AM NOT FAT!!!!!!!!!!

I have too much fat on me but I AM NOT FAT.

I am a man.
I am 51 years old.
I am about 5' 9".

I have too much fat on me but I AM NOT FAT.

FAT doesn't describe what I am, it describes an aspect of me.