Again Disappointed and Satisfied

July 2nd I went out for the GoRuck Light.

I made it to the end and got my patch.
Replaced my Embrace the Suck one.
Have to add more velcro to get it back on there tho.

There were a total of 44 people and our Cadre Matt S.

The welcome party had me doubting my decision to even do the event.
Speed movements as a group, burpees, push ups, flutter kicks, and benching our packs.
Trying to manage my pump, my pack straps, and for that matter my shorts, was a pain.
I was having problems catching my breath.
Took a real shot to my confidence.
I knew I could go 16+ miles on a ruck cross country but this was so very different.
I immediately got support and encouragement and kept going.

Our first major obstacle that seemed to really trash me were stairs.
I know that LOTS of squats and box jumps are in my future for training.
Lots of people gave me encouragement, introduced themselves (I don't remember names, sorry), and told me to keep going.
I was having problems even standing.
My quads were screaming at me and my legs were shaking so bad I just wanted to sit and rest.
At this point, someone was actually carrying my pack for me.

The team had picked up Big Bertha, a really long log, and was team carrying it.
Yes, if you are paying attention, that means that not only were some carrying the team weight, a lot were on the log, and someone was actually carrying my weight.
I was drinking from my nalgene bottle that I had with me.

We made it to a water stop and I refilled my bottle and checked my sugars.
I was doing ok but didn't really have time to rest.
When we took off, I didn't make it far before I needed help with my pack again.

We moved down to some steps and had a time hack to get up and down them while yelling out the different branches of service.
Yes, more steps and my legs were toast.
Everyone else had packs, someone even had mine, and I was struggling.
I didn't stop but I was in serious pain.

They moved me to the front and had me carry the flag and set the pace.
We moved down to a flag memorial for some team pictures.

From there we moved towards a hill.
Then we got to pay honor to the troops and low crawl about 100 yards across a field and up the small hill.
I was still on the flag so was doing lunges.
Part way across the field, someone took the flag from me and I got to do the low crawl.
The grass was fairly dry and I was still having a hard time so it was not a fun event.
I made it but managed to really tear up my arms.
I didn't realize just how bad until later.

Then we got to move down to the river for some water calisthenics.
Those weren't too bad but that water was definitely not something I want to be in much.
Squats, burpees, surfed one of the females, and a lot of flutter kicks.
Back into our packs, someone carrying mine, and up for some more pics.
We got to leave Big Bertha there.

Then we went into an indian run.
The team weight and flag were passed from person to person back to the end of the line and then they were run back to the front.
While I carried the flag someone else carried the team weight.

We then moved back to the bridge to get back on the correct side of the river.
At that point we had casualties.
I took my pack back since we were down people and I knew I had to carry it.
I was up front with the flag to set the pace.
We were moving very slow and had stops to let people swap out positions on the carries.
Every time we got too spaced out, we took more casualties.

Eventually we made it to back down to the stairs we jumped up on the way out.
I used the rail the entire way and made it down.

Then Cadre Matt wanted a jog.
I didn't have one in me but kept going.

We made it back to the opening field.
Tunnel of love and you got your patch at the end.
I got told to do lunges, this might be due to my size or my condition, not sure which.
My problem with lunges was my thighs were already so trashed and the end of the tunnel kept moving away from me.
Eventually I caught up to the end and was patched.
Cadre told me to go get the flag, which was being held by a bystander.

Once everyone was patched Cadre had his final words.

In my final summary:

I am struggling to be satisfied.
I never quit but I didn't succeed and that is a serious failing I have to accept finishing.

Cadre Matt S kept pushing me but didn't try to break me which he could have.

There is no way that I would have done this without 43 team mates.
At no point, EVER, did I hear anyone say anything to me about causing them to work harder or that I should quit and let them move on without me.
I can honestly say that I have never felt as supported by any group as I did during the ruck.
As long as I didn't quit, they weren't going to quit on me or let me quit.

GoRuck had a sale on a pack, that included another ruck.
I will do another one.
I want to finish one and not be the guy that had to be carried.
I now know that I can keep going and know more of what I have to train for.
Next year.