Mental Negotiations

So I went down to Canal Fulton with my brother for the Eagle UP Ultra.

We got down there early Friday and got set up before the rain showed up.
I had my new canopy and small tent to attach to it and that worked out well.
In fact, I decided to not put up the 12 person tent since I didn't want to deal with it wet.

After the issues I had at FANS with my pack, I had made some changes to it.
In testing and short walks, it seemed to work a lot better.

I decided to use my Team RWB shirt for the first lap and everything seemed good to go when I left.
What I didn't realize/think about, is that my shirt was tek gear and so were my shorts which means they slide against each other really well.
This means that the belt kept sliding up and shifting the pack around and making me have to keep adjusting it back to where it was supposed to be.

I had also done my weight differently and gotten more chains for the back of it.
I did that on purpose for the visibility sake.
It did make it a LOT harder to do the walk, however.
More than I anticipated I guess since that first loop took 2 1/2 hours to complete.
When I got back, I crossed the line and took a long break.

There were a many mental negotiations done about going back out.
I made a comment to my brother on the drive back, that if I had taken my camera down, I very likely would have just not gone back out and just done pictures.
I really didn't want to do another loop since the first one was so bad, on top of how I did at FANS.
I did just wait thru the main portion of the rain during the day and finally got back up to do a different loop.

I had changed into new gear and had my Team RWB We Will Ruck You dry blend t-shirt on.
That didn't slide and the pack stayed in place much better this time.
The problem then was that my back was already toast and with the set up of the pack, it just was a serious issue to make it around.

I ended up doing my pick a point, walk to it, stop, stretch, and then pick my next point.
Jarvi caught up to me towards the end of my second loop and stayed with me until almost the end when I told her I could see the line and she should go.
I also got to spend some time with Fireman Frank which was cool.

When I got done with my second loop, I told Eric I was done.
At that point, there was only 10 hours left in the event, I needed a break, and I took over 3 hours to make the loop so I didn't think I would have the time to safely get another loop done.
I wasn't happy, but I decided it was the best thing for me at the time.

It is difficult for me to not compare my capabilities now to what I could do when I was younger.

I do know, that if I can lose the weight I expect to, that I will do better.
My goal is 250 pounds, which is within 25 pounds of my fit weight in the Marines.
When I was running at that point, at 225 pounds, I could do a sub 5 minute mile, 2 miles in under 11, a 5k in just over 18 minutes, and I finished a 10k in 43 minutes.
I was also able to max the pull ups and did 108 sit ups in 2 minutes.
I don't expect those numbers, but I would like to get to the point where I can jog/run a 5k and not have to just walk it.

On a side note, I won't be doing any more pack training.
My chiro had to do some serious adjustments today.
With the extra weight I have on me now, just walking will be enough.
I will have to do ruck training for next year, but that will be after surgery.
I figure I can start doing rucking after the new year starts.
Start out slow and build up.
FANS and Eagle UP Ultra next year.