Reminders

I am being pounded this morning with reminders that I am still on a journey to health
I have been bad about diet
I have been lazy and just catching semi bad food on the fly
I have been grabbing candy from co-workers jars (that are there for people to grab from)

I eat something I know I shouldn't then feel bad about myself
And then, since I am bad already, I have another
What the FRAK?

I saw a picture on FB that I shared
It talked about you have 1 body and it is up to you what you do with it
Then saw another about deciding on fixing yourself and then doing it
Final straw, the one that made me feel like crap, was an email from someone telling me how much I inspire them
How much me being open about my journey is helping them to improve themselves

My first reaction was to think bad about myself
"If you only knew how bad I have been you wouldn't say that"
"Not only am I letting myself down but others too"
"Failure"
"I am sorry for being such a bad example"

I know I am not a failure
A failure is one that gives up and quits
I am not doing that
I did let go of the reins for a while and let myself drift back into some of the bad habits I had before
Too many years of bad habits make them easy to fall back on when you don't think about it and just let yourself drift

I have a couple choices now
I can get back up on the horse, nose back to grind stone, pick up my pack and move
or
I can just let go and cruise

Since I have still been going to gym and seeing improvements there I know I wasn't planning on quitting
I just need to re-apply myself

It took years to make this body what it is
It will take a LONG time to fix it
Sometimes you just need a reminder that you are still on the journey